guys the feeling of desire

Damn. Boys. The male gender. Men. Damn. Confusing motherfuckers. Yes you all are. I wish sometimes I knew how to be that girl that everyone looks at. Sometimes I wonder how to be that girl that understands every puzzle piece there is to a guy. I wish I can understand what is it that makes a guy happy. Sometimes I wonder what if I ever did anything wrong. Sometimes I wonder if me being the opposite sex scares guys into doing what they shouldnt do. Honestly. I wonder wtf it is that attracts these type of guys to me. Sometimes I feel used. Sometimes I feel used knowing that I used them bk. Sometimes I just feel like damn Im settling knowing I could do so much better. And sometimes, well, sometimes I just feel that being a girl in this day and age is the hardest thing possible to live and deal with. Guys have it hard understood. You have to make the first move at least most of the time. You sometimes dont know how to act with a girl. Sometimes you just take advantage of what you want from the girl. But most of the time, its like you dont know and you wish to have known what it is you learn after many years of having been with one particular woman. I guess guys think the same way we do. And in the end, all we ever wanted was to feel a sense of being loved and adored. We need to feeling to survive. Whether it is from a partner or from family or your best friends. Its part of our human being. If it wasnt in our nature, we wouldnt survive. Im pondering on my own conquests what I should do with certain things. Leave them alone. Play seductress(yea ok) I dont know. Im thinking and picking at my ideas. And all they seem to be are reckless ideas that have no place. My time will come yes Ive heard this many a time. But one can only have so much patience before that patience runs out. And that patience darling. That patience is running out. God knows what Id do if I get to that place of all desire and no stability. (hehe figure that one out)