a little bit to let go

Born with the willingness to love all and not care for the pain that can be caused, growing up inside a family that always worried and loved me with no end, i still ask myself why i desire for the love of someone i cant have, i like my challenges but sometimes i just dont want to work for it, why should i have to? My weakness is to love and love with all my heart, my flaw is revenge on those who betray it, my virtue patience, my sin lust. i know im going to hell but cant i once just once get what i fucking want? is it that much to ask? seriously is it?