Before him, I thought Id done it all (First Kiss Part 5)

Passion.
Lust.
Love.
Desire.
Yearning.

Nope. I.Did.Not.
At least, I didnt know so until I started kissing this current person. I didnt know what I havent had and have had until he came along. It has all been so different.
It began so harmless. Kind of old friends getting back in touch. That's all it was. Nothing more. Before I go any deeper, I must explain my mindset right before I met with him again after 4 years.

I did not want a relationship. After having been in a relationship that turned out to be very heart wrenching, I did not want any kind of emotional ties to any guy. Before him, I was with people just because. Having fun. Enjoying the single life.

When I first spoke to him, it was all flirting. In my mind, he was my next conquest. A new challenge for me. After 3 weeks of having spoken to him, and flirting with him, I found out he had a girlfriend. About two years with this girl. Still not realizing how deep my emotional ties were to him. He was awesome. And with what I knew about his relationship, I felt this girl didn't know what she had.

One night last august or september(not clear which but definitely before mid-september) I told him to come over to hang out after he got off work as he wanted to see me. We spoke about our feelings earlier and hed given me the green light to make moves. I don't think he ever expected me to make any. But I did.

After about an hour of hanging out on my stoop, under the night sky and the moon, I kissed him.

He didn't kiss back but he was shocked. I smiled knowing I had him. Little did I know it'd be the beginning to where I am now. As I kissed him, I felt a shock in my system. I had never made the first move. Not that I was chicken (since I work off of impulse) but because I never had wanted to. He made me want to.

*I am publishing this post but it is somewhat unfinished. I feel with my current state of mind I can't finish it but I wanted to finish this series(Its kind of annoying seeing somehting in your drafts that you should know you should finish) That said, I hope you enjoy what I have written. -_- I might regret publishing this post later. But for now, I am happy with what I wrote.

*Also, I want to say Happy Birthday to Michael Jackson. You are definitely missed. (It's appropriate to put this under this post because of the overwhelmingly tremendous amount of love that the person I am talking about in this post has for MJ)

=)