So I dont know if youve noticed, and Im not knocking on any parents, but Im telling you right now... WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH KIDS HAVING KIDS??!
Yesterday, I saw a 13 year old girl with a prego belly sitting on the train. This girl was as small as a toothpick with a round looking kinda pot belly (of course, it was a prego belly... it cant be beers... could it??!) So she's sitting down and rubbing her belly, looking like shed go into labor at any given time. I was observing her from the window, when I noticed a little kid maybe almost 2 years old sitting across from her looking sad as though he threw a tantrum and didnt get his way. I'm taking in the detail of his face and I realized... this kid was NOT her little brother but damn sure could have been!
She might have been 14 or 15 I dont know. But I DOUBT she was any older than that! The worst part, the part that bothers me, relentlessly, is that she was a minority. (Another reason why Im against abstinence based sex ed! but thats another post for another day...) Like what the hell is wrong with these kids??!
Why arent kids being kids?
Instead of having them...
Why arent kids enjoying their youth??
Yes, fine, I agree sex is a part of life and birthing and what not... But theres a time and place for everything and I refuse to agree that any one in HS and Ill even go as far as saying "college-aged" (not a college student, but college-aged, so 18-22) should be having or thinking about kids. Not only the age bothers me but the fact that these kids are having their babies. I feel sorry for the parents of these little girls who are having babies of their own. Im sure many of them are like "where the hell I went wrong?" or just in pure dismay, because they expected better from their babies.
I am not going to sit here like a hypocrite, I have had my scares. But I had a plan. There was no way in hell I was keeping a kid I couldnt afford to raise especially knowing that I would not have a person to have my back and support me. My parents would not have supported this. My grandmother, if I had chosen to keep a child, might have supported me but with pure disappointment. You guys remember the blog about expectations? Well, guess what, theres many people I would have been letting down. BESIDES myself. And I wasnt going to do it. I thank God everyday for my blessings and that I havent had to have an abortion, but if I had had to, it would have been done. I was not putting myself in a predicament I was not ready for and I consider myself a good judge of my actions. I feel that for the most part I do know what Im getting myself into anytime I make certain decisions and choices, and take certain actions. When I became sexually active, I told myself that if I couldn't abort the child and was stuck keeping it, Id end up running away and making my life elsewhere. I did not want to do an adoption. Personally, its not for me. I would adopt a child but I wouldnt give away my child. I dont want my child going through the system and falling through the cracks. Those are things I have thought about. Remember my post on the kid who was "thrown away" twice? So am I as a mother should have to worry that my child is worse off with someone else than he or she would have been with me??! COME ON. I wouldnt have wanted to worry.
Then as I got older, graduated HS, didnt have the scare, and oh, how I felt it was coming soon, I realized I was muh older than I had been and can now take care of my child. Here I balanced more of a "maybe I'll keep it" attitude and have maintained it till now. Now I know for a fact, Ill keep my child. Im 20, still too young in my eyes, and trust me, I dont plan to be pregnant anytime soon if I can help it but who plans to be pregnant anymore??!
Anyhow... back to the subject at hand. Kids having kids. What is the deal with this trend? Is it because TV is more sexually explicit than it had been? Is it because were teaching kids about sex at younger ages? I dont know, I dont care, Im just saying something needs to be done. I dont know what but something. Its ridiculous.
People I went to JHS with, almost a quarter of the class are up to their 2nd (NOT 1st!) kid. That is ridiculous. Im 20 years old and so are they. What are they doing with 2 kids??! My HS class, there are a good few people who also are up to their 2nd kid and we just graduated about 2 years ago. This just shouldnt be. It makes me wonder are you guys that sex-crazed??!
And sex isnt even the problem. Its the fact that these kids are having unprotected sex as though they dont realize there are consequences.
Kids: unprotected sex = pleasure... + STD's + pregnancy
Repeat after me: STD's + pregnancy
Kids: Protected sex = less pleasure (fine ill give you that...) but less chance of STD's and pregnancy
You dont want to get pregnant or get STDs, use a damn condom.
It bothers me. It does. And what make things a little worse is the fact that after I saw prego 15 year old on the train with her 2 year old, I saw someone I went to school with her own two kids. She is 20.
Out of all my so called friends who are mothers, there is definitely two in particular who I agree with their having families. One is married, 21 with her 2 kids (still GOING to college!) and the other just had her baby this summer but has graduated already from college so this doesnt bother me!
My cousins in PR, the one mentioned in the previous post with 2 kids... his baby momma was 14 when she popped out the first one. At 16, she miscarried and at 17, she had another! WTH??! Seriously. My other cousins are slightly older but more or less, they were already in their 20s having kids. That doesnt irritate me so much.
What do you think about this? I know a few of you are married and have kids of your own. And I mean no offense, Im just pissed off at the trend. I dont want to see 14 year olds pregnant. I want to see 14 year olds getting in trouble and enjoying their youth because thats the point in being a kid... to get in trouble and enjoy the time of "innocense!"
5 comments:
I never wanted to have a child out of wedlock, much less at a very young age. I was a virgin until I was 21. Not because of religion, but because I was afraid that they would dump me after I gave it up. At 21 I was in a serious relationship, and was ready. No REGRETS.
It sucks to see all these Latinas prego at such a young age. The saddest part is that you know they can't afford this children and so the funds go straight off our taxes. I worked two years overtime and saved so I could have a baby withouth government aid. These bitches just open their legs like it's nothing. The worst part, they keep having more!
I've never put myself in this situation, so it's very easy for me to state my opinions. I would never abort. It's mostly my beliefs, and part of it is seeing the beautiful children in my family. If it came down to it, I would put my child up for adoption. I may be 1 in a million, but I've been 'saving' myself for marriage. For someone special enough to have my children. I may be ready to have sex right now, but it means to much to me to share myself with someone I don't truly care for or want to spend my entire life with.
Once again- it's just a personal preference. I haven't been really religious until maybe age 17 or 18 and have had opportunities. I hope I'm not sounding judgemental :(
I really do feel sad for young people having kids. My cousin had her first baby at 16 then another at 17 or 18, and she was actually trying to have children. It wasn't a mistake. She just wanted someone to love that would love her back. I think that's the wrong way to go about getting love though.
When I was in high school I had two friends who became pregnant. They never went to college but they had full lives, mostly lived through their kids IMHO. It's not that they didn't live...they just had a different life than I did. It's a hard lesson in life, but some insist on learning it.
The Boyfriend said he saw a story on the news where kids are engaging in oral sex as early as age 8.
LMJ and Kelly I commend u for your choices. It takes a lot of courage to admit that in this day and age AND maintain pride in it. I would love to see a lot more chastity around me but it seems like sex is just a fact, its a part of life. No denying it. I just wish folk understood theres a time and place for everything.
Steph, Im SO not surprised that your bf saw that about the 8 yr olds. My exbest friend engaged in oral as young as 7 or 8 herself. I knew other folk who were engaging in sex at 12 and one girl who was pregnant AND had her child at 11. Its ridiculous.
There are so many issues involved here. One, why are 12 and 13 year olds having sex? I don't even think I knew what sex was when I was that age LOL. Two, those that are having sex, why are they having unprotected sex? Three, I'm sorry but a 13 year old can not parent. Heck they're still children. Four, the kids of these kids end up being raised by mom, grandmas, aunts etc. Five, I had my first child at 23 while other mom were waiting until they were 40. My daughter and I both had a hard time, in that other moms were 20 years older than me LOL.
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