The reason I'm a bottle redhead

First off, let me say this: I hate having to keep up appearances. I don't like having to be mindful of a person's first impression and I hate having to feel I need to look a certain way to fall under what people consider or deem attractive.

Second, I hate trends. And this will be one of the reasons as to why I'm letting my natural color come out.

So I've been a bottle redhead under nutrisse 69 guidelines since I was about 18. Before that I had copper hilights that went blonde(no offense to anyone but I don't like blonde. At. All. Its just not in my personality)

When I turned 18, I added more hilights which messed up my hair so in trying to salvage what looked deceivingly dry, I dyed it back to my natural color and paid $110 for special hilighting. (No one in my family wanted me to dye my hair altho that's what I not so secretly coveted) So here I was with a banging hairstyle (red and copper hilights) and then the trend came in. Most females I knew were dying their hair red or dying it two (or more colors) FML!!! So here I was yet again with a heartfelt decision. My hair was going blonde again so I dyed it red. I became a bottle redhead. Oh and how I loved (and still do!) It! I was intrigued.
And I love the appearance I "have" to keep with it. I'm a very intense person as is and the aura of flames and fiery and all-around sex appeal excited(excites!!!) me. LOL

So I have an issue. I shouldve been a natural redhead, but I'm a brunette. And I feel so bland with it. I don't want hilights, hate and loathe them... I want to go back to red but I'm afraid I can't keep up with the intensity it brings to my aura as I feel its a bad one. As much as I love my brunette, I feel too calm and the excitement I usually lead in my life, wears off too easily, I bore too easily. I feel like a zombie. The redhead in me is screaming and yearning for the life it indirectly led me to leading. Not too much a "good" life, just a fun one.
I need to figure out who I want to be: The lively bottle redhead or the stereotypical intelligent natural brunette?

Oh and I will be getting into the stereotypes later!!!!!

And just a little more backstory. Most of my family members do red. We all pretty much dye our hair. My mom, grandma, aunts, cousins, etc.Some of them do it to cover grays, some of them (like me) dont like their natural brunette, black or blondeness. No natural redheads in my fam, apparently. Anywho, check back in tomorrow... I shall cover the stereotypes!