Group Blog: Fears with a Halloween twist

Before today's GBT, I have posted a few Blogs tagged Fears but today's blog is going to be a cocktail of life with a twist of Halloween.

Let's start from the beginning shall we?

The 90s. I grew up in this decade. There was Edward Scissorhands, Freddy Kruger, Jason, Goosebumps, Stephen King, murders were rampant in NYC(ok maybe just the neighborhood I lived in), etc... I was the only kid in my family besides my uncle who was 10 years my senior. He grew up during the 80s. That evil man that is my father's brother tried to scare the crap out of me in more ways than 1. UGH. There was el cuco(the monster that my grandmother loved to add onto) and over grown or intelligent rats(Master Splinter anyone? The secret of Nimh?)

Add to this, a very wild imagination and beliefs that one grows up on such as spirits and ghosts. My mother (THANKS MOTHER!!!) has heavily pounded into that when she dies, she is going to come and pull me by my feet when I sleep.

So now I have a fear of ghosts and rats. Thanks a friggin lot. Lets add to this equation, OMNI (Spanish for UFO) and school-related myths such as the Loch Ness monster(Glad I dont live in Scotland.)

New York has morphed and mutated crocodiles in its sewers and I think there might be a killer ninja somewhere, thanks to the Indian in the cupboard (I always thought of him as a ninja thanks to Charme.) and Mortal Kombat.

Now that all that is listed, lets remind you that I was a hyperactive kid who grew up around adults minus my uncle who was a teenager by then.

The one out of all that that always and still gets me are ghosts. Why, you ask. Hmm, good question. Here's why:

I believe that ghosts are people in limbo. They've died but can't let go of life so they remain in limbo. Maybe they died in a horrible way and want revenge, maybe they feel you invaded their space (No, I have not seen Paranormal Activity and I'm not sure I should see it.) The thing is although I'm creeped out by ghosts and I feel their presence, you know those chills we all get and that feeling that we're not alone, well, I get them often and I feel their presence OFTEN. It doesnt help that I live in the most over populated cemetary capital of NYS. (THANKS A LOT AGAIN MOTHER!) The fact that I live around cemetaries doesn't bother me as much as the ghost that I feel lives in my house. I'm usually roaming the apartment during the night so I always feel that man... Yes, its a man... and NO I am not crazy!...That man has been in my room like he was invited... I swear to you. My door creaks open and I felt the shudders... UGH! The worst part is when he lays on bed. Those are the times I just crawl out my window and sit in one of the cars. I dont play that. Id rather sleep in the car. This was my most recent encounter with the ghost in my current home.

Before that, when I was little and living in "the hood," there was a visitor. I asked my mom for a door the next day, IshitUnot. He was familiar, though, I knew him. I just couldn't tell you who he was. By this time, I was sleeping in my own bed and I really just wanted to feel safe again. This is one of the few times I clearly remember climbing out my bed and into my parents. AND I went back to my bed for two reasons... my bottle and Jaremy. I remember running from room to room. The rooms were barely 6 feet apart, this is a railroad apartment I'm talking about. In the apartment we lived in Bed-Stuy before we came to live where I am now, there was a ghost but we liked to believe it was my great-grandmother. When she passed 6 months earlier, she had lived there and it was the place she had come to know as home for the most recent decade of her life then.

My mom has had her pair of "visitors" so it is hard not to think that ghosts are real. I've grown not to fear them but Halloween is followed by the "Spanish holiday" of El Dia de Los muertos. We honor those who have passed the day after and so maybe my belief for ghosts is heavily embedded in me due to eery experiences.

So I have explained about the ghosts, I'm not scared anymore but I still think they are real. And some of them are some scary spirits. The rats... When I have a house, Ill have lots of candy, I promise. BUT do NOT be a RAT coming to my house. Period. You will NOT get candy and you WILL get shot. I dont care if youre 5 or 25, rats will get shot.  Let Ratatouille show up in my kitchen, he's not making it out alive. The lasers will beam him dead. In an other apartment I lived in, my room now was 2 rooms away from my parents, I was 8 and already sleeping on my own but because I was a big baby and I love paper and smelled so good. My room was infested with rats and we didnt know until we moved out from there. -_- As embarassing as this is, I never understood why mice and rats loved my room but now that I researched it, I better understand. Thefuckers love paper and good smells! FML. I hate them with a passion and although, I no longer "fear" them, I will squeal, jump and maybe run away behind some big black guy to protect me. I dont care if he stares at me like Im crazy. I live in NYC and subways are full of rats, I refuse for one thosefuckers to get me!

Which brings me onto what has added to my "fear" of them(besides the infestation). My mother has been bit twice by mice/rats. My aunt has been scratched by one. I have probably stepped on a million of dead rats and as I think about this, my head has gone lightheaded, my stomach squeamish and my throat acidic. Dead rats under your feet feel awful. The softness, the malleability, it feels AWFUL and DISGUSTING. ILOATHETHEM!

Anywho, there you go my halloween twist of fears. LOL. Long, huh? Since you've made it to the end, what do you think? BS or not?

I just vomitted at the sight of the rats!Freddy and the ghost made me feel better.....................He could be my friend~~>