You're going to call me a hypocrite. I know. Its coming. LOL BUT HERE ME OUT.
I was reading this article and thought about how I'd treat my kids when I have them and when and what I would consider too young.
Cell phones.
I had a cell phone at 12. THIS WAS MY CELL PHONE. I paid for it at the beginning, middle and end. My mother paid a chunk of it when she wanted to start using my minutes for long distance. I really just wanted to conference call and text. LOL. I think that my kids will probably have a cell phone at a very young age depending where I am living and the activities they are into. If they were like me at 12, just only walking to school by myself and back home, the only times I went out then was to play in front of the house or to play handball at the park, I do not think that they should have access to the phone 24/7. AND you're damned right I am going to limit their access. Unless they are paying for it, in which I highly doubt, they will not get to use the phone 24/7. Theyll have a pouch at the door where to drop em when they get home and pick them up when they leave. If theyre leaving the house without me, you're damned right they are going to be accessible at all times. Call me overprotective but guess what? I live in NYC. Ive been there and done that. I know better. LOL.
Cars.
My teenager does not need no damn car at 16. Unless he or she is going to pay for it, well, then, dont expect Santa Claus to bring it to my driveway. Especially if I live in an urban area, there is NO need for a car. In NYC, unless youre driving to LI or upstate, where is the need for a car? The MTA takes you most places. Unless you're trying to save yourself a commute, which at 16, come on what kinda commute are you going to have?
Piercings.
I so hope that my kids will ask me upfront. Truth is I dont have a problem with them. I'll take them myself. BUT I do have a problem if they do it behind my back or if I told them they are too young for a certain kind of piercing. For example:
Ear piercings, I dont care. Go ahead. Do them. I did my second hole at 14 and my tragus at 19.
Nose piercings, I dont mind during HS. I did mine at 18 (cause if I had done it younger, I wouldnt have had a home)
Belly button, thats cool around 16.
Tongue- I am not too sure how I feel about this. I didnt mind seeing my friends have them around 16 but I always understood the stigmas and problems that came with that piercing. First and most obvious stigma: I dont want people thinking my daughter gives head. NO! Damnit NO NO NO! Then the next one: Its unprofessional. As this is the one piercing that can close up within a few hours, How exactly will you hold down a corporate job where you are working 8+ hours with a tongue piercing healing up? You are going to rant and bitch when you realize your $40 piercing has closed.
So overall, Im ok with my child doing random piercings around 16. I just want to make sure that they understand the repercussions that come with them. If they were to do it when they are younger than the age I approve of... Just trust me when I say they will get SO punished in the WORST way! LOL (yeah Idc bout child abuse laws. My child, I popped it out, Im going to discipline them as I see fit! without resorting to very extreme shit)
Tattoos.
UGH. Where do I begin?
Im ok with this. I just got my first tat a couple months ago. I am 21 now. I am going to really just separate this issue into two categories and that will be:
Visible tats.
Not so visible tats.
For the visible tats, I will make sure kids understand the repercussion of these. The one I got is on my wrist. I understand that if I continue in my line of work, I will need to cover it up depending on the situation. I dont mind that. There is makeup and bracelets, etc. But what about those tattoos that are on your arms, legs, shoulder, neck, ear... HELLO! I do not want my child to be a bum. After 18, they could do as they please, it will be their problem but unless they are paying rent in my house they wont be living.
For the not so visible tats, if they are around 16, I will ONLY allow it in places they wont show through regular clothes. I am so serious. They want something at that age, theyre going to be able to hide it. Inner arm, upper leg, butt, tramp stamp (as much as Id hate for them to have one). Id rather they get this with MY permission in a clean spot rather than going behind my back to get them and think that they wont get disciplined when they get home... PSSSH.
I was grown when I got all my crap, they cant ever say Im too much of a hypocrite. Shoot... At least IM LETTING THEM BE EXPRESSIVE!
Thats just what I was thinking throughout that whole article...
4 comments:
I often think about this too. Honestly as long as they realize who is the parent it doesn't quite matter what you do or don't allow them to do. I have to admit I find it unerving when people get their young children a tattoo. It's too permanent to let a kid get before 18.
I agree with you!!! Emma will be allowed to pierce her ears at whatever age she wants it...EVERYTHING else she will have to wait till she's 18 and paying her own shit.
I will buy her a car only if she's in extracurricular activities. If she's just going to and from school, mommy is driving.
Same goes with the cell phone, only if she's involved in those activities. she doesn't need a cell phone for anything else.
AT&T has the go phone plan where you get whatever amount of minutes per month, and they don't let you go over or anything. If you use up your whole month's minutes in two weeks, your phone shuts off until the next month when the bill begins. It's pretty neat. You pay the same amount each month, and there is no fear of your kids going over. I had the plan, but I got tired of my phone getting shut off! LOL!!! xD
I believe communication and education is key. I'd communicate to them that they'll die if they defy me and then educate them on ways I've thought up so they won't think I'm bullshitting. Ha ha ha. (kinda sorta halfway joking bout this)
Ok, ok lemme restart the comment. I'd communicate to them at a young age that although i'm the parent they're free to talk to me about any and everything. i'd tell them they can come to me with a problem or something they've done and based on what they tell me I'll give a proper reaction. I'll also let them know that if they EVER hide something from me and I find out in the worse way possible they'll never see the light of day. i don't want to raise liars and if they want my respect they must dish it out. That's a big lesson i will teach them from when they're in the 2nd trimester of my belly. lol.
I'll also do what some parents are scared to do and that's educate them about sex and general human behavior. I found that if someone isn't exposed properly to certain situations they won't know what to do when it occurs. The thought of them practicing sexual activities will scare me shitless but I def don't want to be a grandmother when they're only 10 (i feel the age is getting lower) and i've seen too many movies and heard too many stories for my child to be bamboozled into committing sexual acts to be accepted. they will be individuals and strong ones at that.
Those are some tough issues...I've wondered this myself. I'm not a mom, just a stepmom, but my 10-year-old stepdaughter is already begging for a cell phone. This wasn't an issue when I was a kid because cell phones didn't exist. As for ear piercings, my husband's ex-wife actually told him that it's better to pierce a kid's ear when she's under the age of 7 because it hurts more later because there's more cartilage. I Googled and can find nothing supporting this but it sounds like it could be medically true?
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